.........- DAY 15?

crappy idiot boyfriend!!!!
so yeah, yesteday he brokeup wiht me. now im all depressing and like because of it. at least school is cheering me up a bit. sigh. this sucks. he didnt even explain himself clearly. gahhhh well im goign to the myo concert in 2 weeks and so we'll see each other then. by then ill also have all my anger built up to whack him in hte face with. at least thats what i believe. so what ever. but i miss him. and tomorrows my bday. we were supose to have a date!!!! gahhhh. he upsets me and now im all depressing again. i have a depressing playlist on my mp3. it consists of....well depressing songs. most depressing and the best out of all of them is Say Goodbye -Skillet sad deressing osng. perfect for break ups. of yeah to get rid of my excesive depression i wrote a depressign short story. i ususlly do that when im really pissed or depressed. either a story or poem. poems appear more when im pissed off or depressed still i guess. but i wrote a story this time. ih yeah the story has nothign to do with my real intentions.

Its cold. Here in the dark I feel cold. I feel empty. I see and sense the poepl around me, the food and sights and sounds. It is noisy but I don’t hear it. Its cold up here. I see people going to and fro. They are following their dreams, or their fate. Some have a boring job and some are extremely happy. Maybe they are the ones who stole my sole. But i know that’s not what happened. He did. He sotle it. Sucked it out of me. And that’s what brought me here. I have no clue if he knows or not. This was our spot. Our spot. Where we would sit and talk. Sit and just be with each other. But now he’s not here and it feels colder. Colder than I’ve ever been. It looks warmer over there so maybe I’ll go. It seems far but ill reach there in no time. Maybe just maybe if I get warm again I’ll be able to get him back. Just maybe. Yeah I just ill go get that heat. The warm fuzz.

GIRL FOUND DEAD. SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

and there you have it. i will nto committ suicide. never thougt about it. and so yeah. im gonna go mup around now and drown my sorrows in music and anime. watchuign hot guys always cheers me up. actually i think ill watch chinese drama. thier drama is so over the top that mine feels so little and i laugh at dramas alot of the time.

~POLKA DOT**